Robin Williams, R.I.P.

I took some time off and discovered that I had better things to do for a while than comment on the mess that things are. For all the good such commenting does me this is really the default position, but occasionally I feel obligated to regardless. I'm getting much better at controlling those impulses, but they have to come out somewhere. Although it isn't the direction I was planning on going, a few words about the late Robin Williams (d. 11 Aug 14).

Anyone who is profoundly surprised that he took his own life while actively and productively engaged in the world to an extent that few of us can imagine, let alone achieve, know nothing of depression and how it messes with your worldview. Howard Tayler who does Schlock Mercenary (highly recommended btw) hit it on the head with the tweets he posted in relation to this event. He noted two critical points for understanding real depression (direct quotes):

The tragic thing about depression is that all these lovely, warm tributes to Robin Williams probably wouldn't have cheered him up.

Note from the depressed: "I love you" & "you have done wonderful things for me" help a lot more than "cheer up" and "count your blessings."

I suspect that Robin was what I still call (because it's the right term) at least somewhat manic-depressive. With past experience with these problems, I can tell you that even if you have a mild case of it you can't really understand what goes on in the heads of those afflicted with a serious case. The real problem is that things change as you get older, and the direction of change seems to be more in the "depressive" direction. We'll never know what drove him that day, but the only thing which would have saved him is someone actively interrupting him.

He was one of the most popular entertainers on the planet, loads of money and lots of work, so he had the world by the throat or at least by the scruff of the neck. I remember a friend of a friend who killed himself at 20 or so who also had all the material advantages of relative affluence, which completely mystified me at the same age. I was struggling slightly to get by and I remember thinking "Why, when things re so easy for you?" I've learned a lot since then, and I can relate it to a military equivalent. If you have an impregnable position or some other sort of massive material advantage, the only way you can lose is if you beat yourself. Robin's death was "an inside job" which you may have seen coming (though I doubt anyone really did) but "when" "where" and "how" was never set.

I liked him when he was funny; the dramatic roles never did much for me, but it's a rare bird who is so talented. He fought it for years, but when you're fighting yourself the best you can hope for is a draw and that wasn't in Robin's cards. Unlike many others at least he won’t be forgotten any time soon.

Exit, Stage Right

As I write this, the last of Canada's mission to Afghanistan are back home.  At 12+ years it is our longest war, even though the intense period (2006-2011) puts us in the same ballpark as WW2. 

Is Afghanistan better off than in 2001? Without question. The questions come in when you look at the prognosis for stability, and that isn't great. We did what we could, more than Afghanistan has ever done for us, and anyone who expects more than that can do it themselves. Hopefully enough Afghans have something to lose now and will fight to keep their gains, but time will tell.

What separates Afghanistan from our previous expeditionary wars is the casualty rate.  We lost 158 dead and several hundred (unpublished) seriously wounded: that's one bad Battalion attack in either World War and a large fraction of our losses in Korea over a much shorter period.

Each of those losses is a tragedy for individuals, but the scale makes a negligible impact on the fabric of Canadian society; the Army was at war, the Country wasn't.  The frequent question is "Was it worth it?".  I don't know the calculus of nation-building, so I can just hope that more people were helped than were hurt.  Some will regret going due to injuries or loss of friends, but the CA is a professional volunteer force, and nobody was forced to go.  It was, for lack of a more sensitive word, an adventure for many of us, and indeed what we signed up to do.

Afghanistan has profoundly changed both the Canadian Army and the public's relationship with us, and I hope that goodwill remains.  The public is fickle however, and there is nothing new about it:

We aren't no thin red 'eroes, nor we aren't no blackguards too,
But single men in barricks, most remarkable like you;
An' if sometimes our conduck isn't all your fancy paints,
Why, single men in barricks don't grow into plaster saints;
While it's Tommy this, an' Tommy that, an' "Tommy, fall be'ind",
But it's "Please to walk in front, sir", when there's trouble in the wind,
There's trouble in the wind, my boys, there's trouble in the wind,
O it's "Please to walk in front, sir", when there's trouble in the wind.

RIP to my comrades fallen in Afghanistan, and the best possible recovery to those who came home wounded in body and/or mind. Lest we forget.

Charlie Sheen as mental health spokesman

While civil war continues to unfold in Libya, I'll spend a little time talking about the only thing that's getting more coverage than the various Arab revolts; Charlie Sheen.

Not a whole lot to say, but I couldn't let the recent madness pass without comment. Short version: Charlie's loopy. More specifically, if he's not manic-depressive (most recently REALLY manic) I'll eat my hat. Well-balanced people don't say things like this:

"I am on a drug. It’s called Charlie Sheen. It’s not available. If you try it once, you will die. Your face will melt off and your children will weep over your exploded body."

I suffer from a milder version of it myself and I've known people with more extreme cases, so it's easy to spot even without psychological training. I enjoy my "up" periods because I have energy and want to do things, and don't care too much about the consequences. That said, on my zaniest days I've never even been close to where he's at right now.

The problem here of course is that he will come crashing down at some point, as has probably happened repeatedly in the past. If his manic phase is worse than it was earlier there is a good chance that his depressive phase will be too. As I'm learning the hard way, as you get older this condition doesn't go away, it gets worse.

If you were to parse my blog posts you could probably tell how I felt when I wrote them. The sample would be skewed however; when I'm really depressed I don't tend to write much, which is a pattern in itself. This is the way it is for a lot of people, but sometimes hard to notice unless you're actively looking. I go contrary to the conventional wisdom on these things, but I'll take the opening that Charlie has made to say this about periodically depressed people: if you know they'll bounce back, don't try too hard to cheer them up when they're down. Some alone time to wallow in the Slough of Despond is occasionally necessary, just don't let them drown in it. Vague I know, but people are highly variable so you should try to understand your friends and family and not worry about generalities.

The brain is very complex, and a bit too much or too little of something can have all sorts of repercussions on one's behaviour. Pharmaceuticals are getting more specific and therefore more helpful, but people still need to reach that point when they realize that they're not handling it well on their own before things will change. Pretty similar to a substance abuse problem, except that you'll need substances (hopefully not self-prescribed) to deal with it.

This is my gut reaction, but to me the difference between crazy and insane is whether or not you realize that you're behaving oddly, or at least that people will perceive your actions that way. If Charlie is just venting all the noise in his head because he needs to get it out but knows that he's not being entirely reasonable (to be charitable) then he's crazy for a while. If he believes it, he's insane, temporarily or otherwise.

To conclude my opportunistic quasi public service spot, you need to be aware (as much as possible, anyway) when people you know are having problems, and if they're saying stupid shit (see above) you need to call them on it. If they acknowledge the ridiculousness of what they're doing or not doing (even if they can't stop it for the time being), they'll probably be OK sooner or later. In Charlie's case, he needs to be confronted in plain language and give his head a shake. I don't care what he says now, I'll be very surprised if he isn't at least privately embarrassed in the future by some of the stuff he's saying today.